I Stopped Sending Vacation Playing cards — and Felt Prompt Reduction

I grew up in a home the place coordinated household images had been the norm. My mother would line up the 4 of us youngsters in matching outfits — one 12 months, freshly pressed sailor fits; the following, velvet attire, with my brother in an identical tie. Each stray hair could be tucked in or sprayed down.

We had been bribed (or extra like evenly threatened) to smile with our eyes open, one thing that is harder than it must be whenever you’re a child who simply desires to be DONE.

Then got here the cardboard — shiny, cheerful, and completely posed — the proof that our household had all of it collectively, no less than for one photograph.

I saved the custom going with my very own youngsters

So after I had my very own youngsters, I continued this custom with out query. Yearly, I would e-book a household photograph session properly upfront of Thanksgiving, hoping that temperamental Chicago climate would not put a damper on our outside images.

I would scour Pinterest for outfit inspiration, aiming for a coordinated however not completely matching vibe. The purpose was to seize one body of perfection — a photograph worthy of the a whole lot of envelopes I would quickly deal with by hand.

However the actuality behind these images was removed from picture-perfect. There have been bribes of sizzling chocolate and complaints about itchy sweaters. I would smile via gritted tooth whereas the photographer tried to get everybody wanting in the identical route. By the tip, the children had been shivering, my husband was completed, and I used to be questioning why we put ourselves via this yearly.

And that was simply section one.

As soon as we had a “ok” photograph, I would spend hours designing the playing cards on-line, tweaking fonts, selecting layouts, and agonizing over whether or not to incorporate a photograph of the entire household or the cuter considered one of simply the children.

Then got here the addressing, stamping, and mailing — often squeezed in between wrapping items, adorning the home, and attempting to maintain the ambiance considerably festive. What was meant to be a joyful vacation custom had was one more merchandise on my endless to-do listing.

Quitting vacation playing cards lifted an enormous weight

Two years in the past, I lastly requested myself, “Why am I doing this?”

Once I could not provide you with a satisfying reply past “as a result of we have at all times completed it,” I made a decision to cease. No household photograph shoot. No card design. No envelopes or stamps.

That first 12 months with out vacation playing cards felt unusual at first, like I would forgotten to do one thing essential. December rolled round, and my mailbox full of cheerful greetings from household and pals, each that includes these completely posed households and braggy year-end recaps. For a fleeting second, I felt a pang of guilt, like I would dropped out of a membership I would been a part of my total grownup life.

However then the sensation handed. What changed it was a deep sense of aid.

With out the looming card deadline, December all of a sudden opened up. I had extra time to really benefit from the holidays — to bake sugar cookies within the form of stars and drive via neighborhoods adorned in vacation lights. The strain to current our household in a sure manner — smiling, coordinated, festive — merely disappeared.

Now our images (and holidays) really feel extra genuine

As an alternative of orchestrating a posed photograph, we began taking extra spontaneous photos: messy, candid, actual. A selfie at a neighborhood vacation market. A blurry shot of everybody laughing in entrance of our silver fake Christmas tree. A snowy mountain scene after a day of snowboarding. These photos weren’t good, however they had been us. And after I checked out them later, they did not remind me of how burdened I felt attempting to get everybody to cooperate — they jogged my memory of how a lot enjoyable we truly had.

One thing else sudden additionally occurred: nobody appeared to overlook the playing cards. The individuals who really wished to attach reached out in different methods. It made me notice that retaining in contact did not should contain postage and cardstock.

Letting go of the vacation card custom did not make the tip of the 12 months any much less particular — it made them extra so. It gave me permission to simplify and do not forget that the reminiscences that matter most aren’t ones you ship within the mail. They’re those you make collectively, no matching outfits required.